Wednesday, April 05, 2006
salsa in my cleavage
yep, that's the risk you take with tortilla chips.
cancelled my meeting with marsha today. just wasn't up for the drive. i did talk to her about the saturday nurse. she agreed that would be a good step and if it didn't work we could go back to having someone come on saturdays. she did ask if maybe i was making it so that i could just go without seeing anyone all weekend. she's no dummy. i told her i was working on that, whatever that was supposed to mean. that i was going to try to get out, i guess. but that's not likely.
i put the bricks under the feet of my bed this afternoon. hope they don't dislodge in the middle of the night. would be one hell of a rude awakening. don't ask me how, but my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth even though i'm drooling. makes me slur my words, makes it sound like i'm drunk. ever try to sound like you're not drunk? (even though you're not really drunk?) it's hard. damned hard. the more you're aware of your speech, the worse it gets. ah well...
you know what i hate? when you're awakened in the middle of the night by a cat hurling. should you get up right then and risk stepping on it or wait until the light of the morning to clean it up? i guess the clozaril doesn't knock me out the way it did for the first week if i'm awakening to that. haven't wet my pants since that first occasion. good thing. i would have stopped taking the med.
there was a video on cnn.com this morning about self-mutilators. people were showing their arms. most of them looked like they didn't require stiches. but this one girl talked of not being able to get out of bed because of the depression and how she'd cut every two hours. it didn't give me any more insight than i already have on it,but it made me feel less alone.
Posted by Lisa ::
4:07 PM ::
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