Saturday, April 22, 2006
tangled up
that's what my brain feels like, all tangled up. i tried to do a post earlier and it wasn't making any sense. of course, when has that stopped me? :) i ended up going back to bed.
you know what really pisses me off? when someone knows that you're battling depression and they say, life is what you make it. makes me want to slap them upside the head. as though depression is a choice.
i still don't plan to leave the house today. although i'm craving a whopper. happens every once in a while.i know they're calorie laden, fat laden pieces of trash but i still want one. i wouldn't have to get out of the car for that. that sounds good.
it's raining lightly, just the kind of rain that we need. the downpours are supposed to come tonight and tomorrow.
ducklady just tripped going up her driveway. no connectiion with the pavement, just a trip to make her walk that much more interesting. i wonder if ducks ever trip.......they'd fall on their little beaks.
i'm not looking forward to either of the things that i have committed myself to tomorrow. i just want to hide in the house
especially on a rainy day. the rain is the perfect excuse for not getting out. so much for that. the only real problem is that i took all my meds last night so i have nothing to take before going out tomorrow. stupid me. my sister has ativan if i'm really desperate. stupid, stupid me. i don't think ahead. everything is in the moment. i dont't think of the consequences. i can be very impulsive. i'm better than i used to be. i never thought of the consequences. i just did whatever i wanted to do in the moment. i think the clozaril is helping with that.
i've had this jean shirt for over three years. it finally got a rip in the arm, no doubt thanks to the washing machine. i wore it all the time over short sleeved shirts to hide the scars. i ordered another one. it came, i let it sit there, knowing that it would not be as comfortable as the worn out one. well this morning, i decided to open the package and try it on. it's pretty comfy. go figure. next on my list is my sneakers. they're coming apart and i even have a new pair but i hate to part with these. they're so comfortble. they're older than the shirt is. well, don't i sound like i dress as a little waif. ripped clothes, shoes held together by i don't now what.i have plenty of shoes, but my sneakers are my favorite. i wear them all the time. and it shows.
Posted by Lisa ::
6:45 AM ::
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