Monday, January 09, 2006
SS
i don't know how i'm going to make it there today. i've done nothing but cry since i got up at four. more bad dreams. not nightmares, just disturbing. yet i want to go back to sleep to avoid life. if i could just sleep without the dreams. why does being alive have to be so dreadful? so hard? i know that it's not always like that. i just can't seem to see past that right now. not really.
it'll get better again, eventually. i'm fed up with trying all of these drugs. i thought that the cymbalta was starting to work, but the past couple days i've been doubting it. i've been anxious and depressed. the two things that it's supposed to help with. i started to feel it on saturday. and it's just gotten worse.
it's funny. Apos left a comment this morning about not hearing me talk about self harm in quite a while. last night that's all i wanted to do. except i didn't have any band-aids.
it's finally starting to get light out. which brings me closer to the things that i have to do today. i don't know that i can listen to regular nurse babble on today. i don't think that i have the patience.
Posted by Lisa ::
7:07 AM ::
3 comments
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