coming and going


Friday, January 27, 2006 horrible dream

i just woke up from the most horrible dream. had to do with my mother and the house. i don't think i'll be going back to sleep. though i have to think about it being awake, i'm afraid it would continue if i went back to sleep. there's so much fucking guilt about selling that house. no wonder i can't settle in here and still have a room full of boxes. i don't think that i should be here. i think that i should have kept the house. but i just couldn't do it,financially. it was a losing battle with all of the work that needed to be done on it. i hate that i had to sell that house. would have been cool if i could have gotten the money from the sale without having to give up the house. i could have fixed everything and made it nice. but of course that couldn't happen.
my sister took me to dinner last night. $7.99 prime rib. it was okay, not as good as it usually is. but the mashed potatoes were yummy. they use red potatoes and leave the skin on. i love that. there were even some lumps. lumps taste like homemade. better than those whipped potatoes you get some places. the kind the consistency of glue.
ella is insisting on being on my legs. i told her to go back to bed, but that doesn't seem to be on her schedule. oh, she just went up.
maybe i'll try to go back to sleep.

Posted by Lisa :: 4:16 AM :: 4 comments

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