Sunday, March 12, 2006
heigh ho
i stopped blogging for a few days just because i felt like i was saying the same old things. so i started writing in my journal where it doesn't matter if you repeat yourself seven times. or whine the whole way through.
i took a bunch of my saved pills last night. just didn't want to have to think. welll it did the trick. i slept through the night with no bad dreams. i went to bed after they started to work. felt incredibly drunk. was seeing things. not huge rubber bunnies or anything but, well, it's hard to explain what i was seeing. but i'd try to touch them and my hand would go right through. i have no idea how much i took of what. but i woke up this morning so it couldn't have been too much.
i was up on the third floor but oliver wanted to go outside when i came down to pee. so now i'm at the laptop. but upstairs, the birch trees were glowing against the dark mountain. it's totally dark out there now.
i hope ollie comes in soon so that i can get back up to my fortress.i'm waiting to see his little head peeking in the front door window.
the Roos haven't been too noisy this weekend. of course, i've been asleep for most of it.
it was nice not having a nurse this morning. i woke up at six but could go back to sleep. i had and ISP (individual service plan) on thursday. all my "caretakers" meet and talk about me. it's soooo uncomfortable. but during it marsha told the head honcho that i was no longer getting a nurse on sunday and that she was following my lead about the nursing visits. so i may cut out saturdays too. then i wouldn't need to see icky, stern nurse every other saturday. i'd only see her if regular nurse takes a day off. which is almost never. she'll come to work sick to share her cooties with all of her patients.
sean is working on getting me a loan for my back bills. since the guy at ss did such a bang up job of screwing everything up. i don't know when to expect the big check. could take up to a month. i don't know what these people think that folks are living on when they make a mistake like that. ah well, there's nothing that i can do about it. it'll come eventually. if my cable gets shut off, i'll just have it turned back on when i get the check.
didn't intend for this to be so long.
Posted by Lisa ::
6:17 PM ::
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