Thursday, December 22, 2005
christmas cheer
i'm lacking it. in fact the closer we get to christmas, the more depressed i become. memories of my mother dying just after christmas. all the things that i think that i did wrong in taking care of her rush into my mind. and i end up crying for hours.
that's what happened this morning. then i remembered my prns. and took a few. i'm calmer now. i don't know why i forget about them.
sean is supposed to come around eleven-thirty. she didn't come last week, so i have three bags of trash to be taken out. she's not sure if she's working next week or not. i'm going to have to go alone to the pdocs. she couldn't make the time that they had, if she was working. this morning i just feel like going off all my meds and saying fuck it.
all right, i guess that's enough complaining. the good thing is that i get to sleep late on chrismas because no nurse will be coming. i have a day of movies planned. Rear Window, Tootsie, On Golden Pond, Arsenic and Old Lace, Shrek, The Musketeer, and some others that i can't remember. Oh, Benny and Joon and Chocolat- to get my Depp fix.
one of the cats either just kissed me on the eye, or wiped her nose on me. i'm not sure which.
unless sean can bring me to the store tomorrow, i won't have my pop-up chicken and dressing and potatoes.there's no way that i can go by myself with it being so crowded. i'll probably be grabbing onto her for dear life.
i had hoped to get her to help me put up my christmas lights today, but i just don't feel like it.
poor porkchop, he's such a dumb fish. he keeps banging his head against the side of the tank in hopes of breaking free. which i'm sure isn't doing anything for his intelligence. poor stupid porkchop.
Posted by Lisa ::
10:14 AM ::
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