Monday, November 28, 2005
well i went to the pdoc today, this afternoon. and she asked me all kinds of questions. some of which sean piped in to answer. not trusting me to be forthcoming. she's reducing the effexor and next week, she'll probably discontitue it all together. since she started the cymbalta, she thinks i have too much something or other in my brain and it will help with my concentration and make me less agitated.
i'm going to dinner with my sister tomrrow night. i think that's a good thing, but it may very well leave me depressed. but she's my sister and i'm sticking by her. i told her tonight on the phone that if she ever felt like she just couldn't stand it there she was welcome to spend the night at my house. but she said she'd be worried about leaving the boys (her dogs.) jackass isn't willing to take care of the one who worships him. so she'll have both her dogs when she moves out. better that way, for the dogs and for her. she couldn't talk much cause he was in the other room, she said she'd tell me more at dinner.
she hit a deer the other day and really did damage her little sports car. she's supposed to get an estimate tomorrow.
i am depressed, which has been my usual state for the past 30 years. the pdoc promised, promised, that it would get better. but right now i don't have much faith in all these drugs and i'm starting to contemplate ECT. that would mean being in the hospital for a couple of weeks. a thought that i don't like to entertain. since there's no smoking in there anymore. i went without for part of the weekend because i just didn't want to go out, but i got some today. i think i'd go completely nuts.
sometimes i wonder if someone had gotten me to a doctor earlier if i'd still be suffering like this. and sometimes i think it doesn't matter. today, i think it doesn't matter.
i have more to post later but first i must send an email to a very good friend.
Posted by Lisa ::
8:15 PM ::
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