Friday, June 29, 2007
suicidal sparrows
is it just here in the North that birds have grown balls? they wait til the very last second to get out of the road. i'm ready to slam on my brakes and off they go. i'm really worried that i'm going to hit one of them.
i had one of the worst anxiety attacks that i've ever had last night. i took all my prns for the whole weekend. crawled into bed with oliver and eventually fell asleep. then the phone rang. but i felt much better. now i have to hope that i'll do all right for the rest of the weekend. i have nothing more to take.
i think i'm going to the fireworks tonight with my friend Lydia and another friend of hers. i say "think" because i'm worried that i'm going to back out at the last minute. we'll see... actually, i could probably see them from my third floor.
i got most of my hair chopped off yesterday. it was half-way down my back, now it's just above my shirt collar. and it only cost me ten dollars, thirteen with the tip. it looks cute. i look younger. :P
i sent H an email yesterday morning telling him that i was hurt that he never said anything about Rhea (my great aunt who passed away earlier in the month.) haven't heard anything from him. we'll see if i do.
well, i'm off to read some blogs.
take care.
Posted by Lisa ::
8:50 AM ::
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Friday, June 22, 2007
Arghhh!!!
i'm pissed at myself. regular nurse left this morning to go on a cruise so i had a fill-in. someone i've never seen before. she totally screwed up my weekends set of meds. and i didn't say anything. mostly she got the prns screwed up. the weekend should be interesting. i hope i don't get her again during the week. it'll be hard to explain that i didn't say anything and tell her what they're supposed to be.
i saw sean yesterday and we had fun. i'll see her again on monday.
the squid is on vacation next week. and the barbarian is off the week after next. i'm seeing the barbarian this afternoon. i forget what time. i guess i'll expect her when she shows up.
i had dinner with my sister last night. it was kind of uncomfortable. she seemed in a rush to get away. the food wasn't very good either. they really oversalted the mashed potatoes. usually they're so good. tasted like someone poured an entire salt shaker on them. i don't salt anything. my sister salts everything and even she said that they tasted very salty. i know, so much excitement in my life. aren't you glad i'm sharing.
i'm off to read some blogs.
cheers.
Posted by Lisa ::
9:07 AM ::
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007
the barbarian is back
just came from having coffee with the barbarian. she had a good time in california. both she and the squid will be taking vacations the week after next. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. i'll get to be alone, but maybe too much so.
i went on line and looked up the obituary for my aunt Rhea. thought seeing it in print would make it sink in. but it didn't. it was two weeks today that she passed away.
shit, i just lost the network connection. unshit. got it back. i wish this connection was more reliable.
i'm going to see sean tomorrow. usually i see her on mondays but she had to reschedule this week. sometimes i think i'd be better off if i didn't see anyone. just me and the cats.
there goes the phuckin' connection again.
well, i guess this will get posted tomorrow.....
Posted by Lisa ::
12:11 PM ::
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007
whine
tonight might be my last warm bath for a while. they're going to shut off my gas. damn fucktards, always wanting money. i'm choosing to look on the bright side. at least it's not the electricity. that would really suck.
i'm at the coffee shop getting a lousy internet signal.
i saw my pdoc this morning. she made some changes. at this point, i don't have faith in anything anymore. i've been taking a lot of the flower essences that sean mixed up for me. i think they help to a point. they're not magic, which is what i'm hoping for these days. but then, so is everyone.
i'm diddling around waiting for pam, the barbarian's fill in. filling in while the barb is in california. she'll be back next week.
this certainly is the place to people watch. some are downright scary. but that's what makes this town great. one of the things that i miss about it. phuckin' internet signal sucks.
this morning is a service for my great aunt. it's here in town. i'd be going but i have nothing to wear. all my decent clothes are too small. or i'm too big. either way.... her son is having her creamated, so there'll be a separate graveside service at some other time. maybe i can find something to wear by then. it's finding something with long sleeves this time of year that's the problem. i don't want the world to see my scars. i feel really bad about not going to the service today. it started ten minutes ago. i get so angry with myself about the scars. you'd think i wouldn't cut anymore because of that, but nothing seems to stop me when i have that going through my head. the pdoc raised my clozaril, which is supposed to help with the suicidal thoughts and the thoughts of cutting. i just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
i just switched tables, got a better signal now. yeehaw!!! well there's a little brightness in my life. doesn't take much.
oh,man, they're peeling oranges for the juicer. smells damned good.
back at home. in the comfort of my bed, with oliver rubbing against the laptop.
pam and i didn't meet for very long. that was fine with me. i was anxious to get home. i have to go back out to wallyworld but i'm waiting for the squid to call. she called while is on my way to my appt. with the pdoc. i called her back and got her machine. i wish i had some idea of when she'll call. i'd like to get my trip to wallyworld out of the way.
Posted by Lisa ::
5:17 PM ::
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Monday, June 11, 2007
pig farts
don't ask me what made me think of that. i have no idea. started thinking of a Beatles' song and there i suddenly was- at pig farts.
that is all.
Posted by Lisa ::
8:43 AM ::
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Thursday, June 07, 2007
sad news
i got a call from my cousin yesterday that his mother (my great-aunt) died yesterday morning. she would have turned 91 next week. maybe i'll write about her later. right now i'm just sad.
Posted by Lisa ::
9:43 AM ::
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007
i feel so out of the loop
i've been trying to catch up on people's blogs. it seems like a losing battle. but i want to know what's going on with everyone.
congratulations to Denise for doing so well in her classes. and i'm glad that Babs' bubble is almost gone.
im going to see the squid this morning. i've really come to like her. she has a great sense of humor. though i'd rather go back to bed this morning. i'll treat myself to a cup of coffee on the way.
hope everyone is doing okay.
Posted by Lisa ::
8:00 AM ::
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