Friday, September 29, 2006
thank you
thank you all for you kind words. they mean a lot to me.
Posted by Lisa ::
11:54 AM ::
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
ella
ella died during the night. she's right beside me on couch in a pillow case. my sister's husband is going to dig a hole at their house for me to bury her. i don't want to bury her here this doesn't feel like home. i put her in our favorite pillow case.she loved sleeping on it. okay, so maybe it was the pillow beneath it. but i think of it as her favorite.
i can't believe ella is gone. she was truly the sweetest cat i've ever known.
Posted by Lisa ::
12:27 PM ::
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Friday, September 22, 2006
small world
the barbarian told me this morning that she knows the woman who bought my house. knows her very well and had high praise for her. she had all these nice things to say about her. it kind of took me aback. she said she's known her for a very long time. she said that it was much more of a project than they had bargained for. that made me smile secretly. i was hoping that would be the case.they've only done over and rented one side. they have to wait on the other side. short on funds.
Posted by Lisa ::
11:34 AM ::
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
off to see the wizard....
and came back with fig pieces. yes, fig pieces. there’s this bag that they give everyone. it’s already packed. it’s the USDA package and i just got home and they’re giving people fucking fig pieces. who the hell wants that? BUT, i got peanut butter and tuna. hurray!!
and lucked out with a lot of name brands. Kraft mac and cheese instead of the 49 cent box they have at the grocer. which i can say, is not too good. they have Kraft at the grocer’s too, but how can you pass up mac and cheese that is half the cost? unfortuntately i don’t have any mayo for the tuna, both the cats and i are in morning. we actually got the fancy albacore. that doesn’t happen often, usually its the chunk light. got progresso chicken noodle soup, celestial seasonings tea. got a whole bag of apples. some fresh green beans. and some stale bread that the barbarian forced me to take. the food stamps are still screwed up. i have to get another receipt from talksalot stating the amount of my condo fee every month. i don’t think it’s fair. talksalot should have no idea about my financial situation. at all. no need for reciepts, no nothing. it really ticks me off. and another part of me says, who cares what she thinks. she’s not my favorite person. what does it matter?
aw hell, i’m going to the library. oh, i just noticed yesterday that my inspection sticker is out of date. it reads 8, should be 9, oops! i certainly can’t afford to get a ticket for that. although i am limiting my driving. maybe i shouldn’t go to the library.
Posted by Lisa ::
2:54 PM ::
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Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Monday, Sept. 18
just came back from lydia's. she gave me a roll of toilet paper and five dollars. i looked in the bag and said, oh a big roll. she asked if that was alright. she's so funny. how can a roll of toilet paper be wrong? oh leave it to Denise or Babs to find a way.
someone is hammering like hell out there. as soon as i wrote that, they stopped. what magical powers i have.
for lunch i had rice and italian dressing. i don't recommend it. amazing the things you'll eat when you're hungry. did i say that they messed up my food stamps? they were supposed to send me something to sign. they never sent it. and the worker was on vacation last week. the barbarian said that if i didn't get it by tuesday to call them and have them fax the forms to the barbarian, so that i can sign them and send them back. weinies! so i didn't get any food stamps this month. thus the rice and dressing. it was that or tomato sauce. not pasta sauce, plain tomato sauce. hopefully, wednesday, we can go to the food pantry. maybe get some more peanut butter. yum. it's usually peanut butter or tuna. i get the tuna so i can share with the cats. but sometimes they throw the peanut butter in as an extra. i just wish the bread they offered wasn't so stale. it's so stale, you worry about breaking a tooth.
i'm really ticked at my sister for not getting back to me. i could be using junk mail as toilet paper for all she knows. i feel like i don't know her anymore. i'm not sure what happened. this change of behavior. not very attractive.
i just braved my way upstairs. the upstairs "bat" is the smoke detector. i guess i need to get some batteries after i get my check. it makes sense that all the batteries should be running out of juice at about the time, having all been put up at the same time. glad i didn't call an exterminator. he/she would have laughed their asses off. i probably wouldn't have been the first one to call an exterminator for a smoke detector, but i'd rather not be a part of that group. like the woman who called puter tech support because her pc wouldn't work. and she couldn't see well because the power was out so she didn't have light to see behind the computer. double d'oh!
i wonder if that's a true story...
Posted by Lisa ::
9:18 AM ::
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Monday, September 18, 2006
Sunday, September 17
thought i'd give you another shot of my beautiful Chuckie.
no library today. both are closed. actually maybe forbes is open, the hours i got were for the summer. if the e'ton library was open i'd be there.
i got some cigarettes. i went to Jim's with a couple of dollars and some change and the guy was nice enough to give me a pack of some cigarettes. virginia slims. but beggars can't be choosers.
i called my sister yesterday afternoon asking for a dollar and fifty cents and a roll of toilet paper. she ignored me. you'd think she'd at least give me the roll of toilet paper. i didn't get her , i left her a message on her answering machine. i had the worst time figuring out how much money i had. i had to do it on paper. i don't know what's wrong with my brain lately.
oh no, duck man is shirtless again. he needs a bra. and why do they call them training bras? either you need one or or you don't.
i'm listening to a thunderstorm on my iPod. and it's sunny out. pretty cool. don't have to worry about lightning strikes.
i went upstairs yesterday to find the bat. couldn't find it. haven't braved the third third floor yet. the barbarian offered to help. two people screaming like little girls. i'll have to make sure the roos aren't home. lord knows what they'd think we were doing.
i haven't wet the bed in a week. yay! the couch actually since i've been hiding down here from the bat. the house is ruled by a mouse-like creature with wings. did i say huge wings? with HUGE wings.
guess i'm going to have to call lydia tomorrow for some toilet paper. hope she's not as broke as i am.
the Big E started over the weekend. i'd love to go. it's like a huge fair. lydia was excited at the possibility but neither of us can afford to go. and we have a Six Flags near here, would love to go to that too. i want to go on a roller coaster, dammit. not one that makes you wet your pants, just one that makes you hang on tight.
i don't see anyone tomorrow except the morning nurse.and people at the library. i'm so glad that i can get online there. otherwise, i'd be going nuts. and i'm not seeing the squid until thursday this week. i'll see marsha on tuesday.
h called last night and he said that i wasn't making any sense. i had taken my nighttime pills. i just remembered that and sent him an sms that i was coherent today.
he just called. he and the girlfriend broke up. i kind of guessed that when he called on a saturday night.
i feel like i'm rambling. that's what happens when people are separated from the internet. the brain starts to go. mumble, mumble, mumble.....
Posted by Lisa ::
9:18 AM ::
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Saturday, September 02, 2006
today is cigarette day. i’m going to threaten the barbarian for a pack because the mail doesn’t come until late and the bank here in town closes early. the bank in hamp closes later but i’m afraid i won’t have enough gas to get there. fudge. oh wouldn’t a piece of fudge be good right now? or a Nantucket pepperidge farm cookie.
the barbarian is due soon. i didn’t get to see sean but i’m supposed to see her today, i think. i brought all of the bags of trash out on the porch. four bags. we didn’t take them out last time so there’s actually two weeks worth. what if she doesn’t come? i’ll have to take them out by myself. it’s so much easier to take it out with someone here. what a silly thing. who knows, maybe next time, i’ll be able to make it as far as talksalot’s front door.
got seven dollars out of the barbarian, for cigarettes and gas to get to the bank. she said, i shouldn’t be doing this. i told her that as soon as i cashed my check i’d be going to get some anyway. told her about the mail coming too late to go to the bank. she gave me money for gasoline, enough to get to the bank and back to the gas station.
i was having a terrible time thinking of what i wanted to say. i ended up having to say, i can’t, a lot. i just couldn’t put my thoughts together.
i just left lydia a message asking her if she wanted to go to the fair on monday. neither of us can afford it but it can be a lot of fun. as long as i don’t come home with a rabbit. lydia won’t be any help. she’ll encourage me. so i have to bring only enough money to get in and to get a ride pass. and a fried dough. :) this is the first year that they’re not having horse racing. that was what drew the majority of people. i don’t agree the idea of horse racing. or dog racing. i wish i could adopt a greyhound. i don’t think the cats would do too well with a dog. and the rooms aren’t big enough for a big dog. never mind what talksalot would have to say about it. i think she’s the tar and feather type.
well, talksalot just came to the door. she’s quitting as trustee. that leaves a position that no one probably wants. talksalot said the only one she’d trust is mr. roo. i don’t know if he’ll take the job. i sure would never want it. of course i’ve only been to three meetings. so i don’t have to worry about them electing me. ~sly grin~
gee, sean was supposed to call about an hour ago. maybe i won’t get to see her this week afterall. but my herbal drops are gone. i know that she wants to get more to me. poor sean,inevitably late. she means well and i think she tries to be on time. i hope she didn’t forget me. it’s been more than an hour. i was counting on seeing her today. it’s hard to go from seeing someone five days a week to seeing her only once a week. the barbarian and i filled out an application for some help around here. with things which take fine motor skills. because of my tremor. for a while,the pill they put me on for the tremor helped, but lately it’s not working so well. whoever i’m with to get coffee has to carry it for me unil i get a lid on it. i tried to carry it today but had to put it down for the barbarian to carry it.
it gets very frustrating. and embarrassing. store clerks have asked why i shake. i think it’s pretty rude. of course, being made aware of it makes it worse.
okay, now it’s been almost three hours since sean was supposed to call. i guess she forgot.
bummer.
sean just called at three-thirty. she just woke up. she worked another overnight. we made a plan to meet on tuesday. the squid will be back tuesday. actually, she’s working monday even though it’s a holiday. so she’ll call me in the morning, monday.
Posted by Lisa ::
10:10 AM ::
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the basics
so i guess i’m going to have to borrow a roll of bath tissue. well, not borrow, but have. that’s when you know that you’ve hit bottom. 35 cents and no bath tissue. i’m stuck here because the gas gauge is on empty and the car is uninsured. i’m doing okay on the no smoking thing. since thursday? i think. i’ve been chewing on toothpicks. maybe not the most attractive way to handle it but it’s just me here so it doesn’t matter. as long as i don’t run with it in my mouth and poke an eye out, i’ll be fine. it’s funny. i dove into an antique tea pot looking for money for cigarettes and found the toothpicks. i also found some Wind Song and four AAA batteries. such packing skills i have. i just thought....i not only have to borrow bath tissue but i have to ask for delivery. terrific. lydia doesn’t have a car. doesn’t have a license. she can have a license now. she had it taken away the last time that she was found full of klonopin in a field just driving around and around. i could call liz but i’d rather she didn’t know how penniless i am right now. then there’s my sister. she emailed me on wednesday. i got it on thursday. the title of the email was “still upset with me?” that thing that she said that i haven’t shared because it upset me. i tried calling her earlier on her cell phone but got her voicemail and didn’t leave a message. that was before i learned of the great bath tissue shortage. now it’s going to seem that i’m just calling for that. i could ask talksalot. that would be interesting. everyone here would know before tomorrow. they already think that i have an uncurable disease. the male roo is going to paint and stain my part of the porch. i wonder what the appropriate thank you for that is. there was a time when you could just bake a plateful of brownies. now it seems everyone is on a diet. though the roos don’t look like they are on a diet. they’re both kind of overweight. he not so much. but it’s easier for men to be a little overweight than it is for women. it doesn’t show so much on a man. damned men!
more thoughts on toilet paper......
if i can make it last til monday, the guy who was hired to take sean’s place is supposed to take me to the insurance company, i can embarrass myself to him about the toilet paper and he’ll buy me some. i’m supposed to not pee everytime i feel the need to. training my bladder, marsha said. supposed to help with the nighttime bed wetting.
now that that’s all figured out....
now all i can think of is peeing. great. and poppers. i have the food stamps but unless i want to walk a mile with a full bladder to get them, i’m out of luck.oh hell, i just peed. not the couch. in the appropriate place. must conserve tp, must conserve tp.
Posted by Lisa ::
10:09 AM ::
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hi everybody
this is the first time i've been to the library this week. i like this little library, though it's a little crowded today.
i miss all of you guys. especially in the evening. i miss IMing with teressa. and reading people's blogs at night. i might have enough this month to get the cable turned back on. that would be great. i'm about to kill a guy in here who keeps making reguritating noises. guess that means it's time to go home.
Posted by Lisa ::
9:56 AM ::
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