coming and going

Monday, October 31, 2005

it's lonely. i should have gotten candy to give out. i do this every holiday the past couple years. choose to be alone then regret it. i'll do the same thing on thanksgiving, christmas and new year's eve. i just took my nighttime pills. there's no reason to stay awake.

Posted by Lisa :: 6:51 PM :: 3 comments

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here i am up in my bed, in the dark. the neighbors all around me have their porch lights on for the little trick or treaters. i, the grinch of halloween, am not giving out candy. at least the kiddos have a good night for it here. not cold or rainy.
i did nothing today but take naps. i did get up long enough to let the kitties have some time on the sunporch. i didn't meet with sean today. she rescheduled for tomorrow. i have a pdoc appt. tomorrow too. and i see the squid first thing in the morning. i'm coming to dread that less as the weeks go by.i certainly don't look forward to it. marsha asked if i told the squid that i called her that. i haven't. i don't think it would be very polite.
i hear the voices of short people outside.
i just don't want to do anything. i can't even think of stuff to write about.

Posted by Lisa :: 5:33 PM :: 1 comments

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things i hate

so i talked to H. over the weekend. and he was talking about all the places he's going and things he's doing. again not giving a shit if i have anything to share. now when we were together, he never wanted to do anything. obviously his fiancee is very good for him. i can remember him not wanting to go out to dinner and me saying, it's your dad's birthday. and he'd finally give in. it's not like he didn't have a good time once we got out. he did. he just never wanted to do ANYTHING. we never went to the movies but once in the whole time we were together. he preferred to rent videos. the part about it that bothers me is that it makes it look like i was the stick in the mud. because now he's doing all kinds of things that he wouldn't have done with me. there were a few times that i didn't want to do things but nothing compared to him. i don't know. maybe this woman doesn't take no for an answer the way that i did. when he said he didn't want to do something, i just let it go. maybe she doesn't do that. i know, i'm kind of rambling but i'm only on my second glass of coffee.

Posted by Lisa :: 8:00 AM :: 1 comments

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

the case of the mysterious dog.
well, the neighbors did get rid of the dog. their neighbor on the other side went ballistic over the noise it was making. but today, they got another dog. how do i know all of this. well talksalot (the woman who lives at the other end of the building and is acting as trustee for the condo assoc.) came knocking on my door this afternoon. she said that she'd already had words with the dog couple and now we're voting about whether or not to ban dogs. i'm voting yes. she said a lot of other stuff which didn't stick in my head. she tends to go on and on repeating the same things and i just space out. and i never let her in the house. afraid she'd never leave and i'd be stuck with her for longer. i keep her uncomfortably standing on the porch and talk to her through the screen. kind of like prison. well, the ones on TV anyway.

Posted by Lisa :: 5:37 PM :: 0 comments

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yay! my regular email is back working again. H. was moving it from one server to another. he just called a little bit ago and told me the proper new settings. H. is my ex, for those of you who don't know. we get along really well. now. before, well....some things are better off forgotten.
the one thing that i miss from Blogster is the notification when certain people post something new. it was so much easier than visiting everyone's blog to check.
i think i just heard dog noises next door. i thought they got rid of the dog. he was barking for hours every time they left. and then it stopped and i didn't see them walking him anymore.
it was so nice to get up this morning and have it be light out. of course the cat didn't know about the time change and started picking at the bed next to my head at about quarter to six. her way of saying, you're over slee-ping. and i'd say, no i'm no-ot. she won in the end.
yep, they still have the dog. he is out there walking him now. i don't know how they got it to stop barking. they were leaving him in a crate everytime they left the house. maybe they stopped doing that and that made the difference. i'm grateful, whatever they did. it was awful hearing him bark and i could hear him trying to get out of the crate. no insulation between the walls.

Posted by Lisa :: 11:36 AM :: 3 comments

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d'oh, never mind about the pictures, i just found where it explains that. LOL

Posted by Lisa :: 1:55 AM :: 0 comments

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so now it's light earlier in the morning? have i got that right?
my cell phone company doesn't push out a time signal. you have to set the time yourself. which i think is stupid.
no green food tonight. they were out of the little tubs of good pesto, so i got some in jar and i know it just isn't the same.
i slept all evening so now i'm wide awake. had no bad dreams though. it's amazing how those two tiny pills can stave off the nightmares. last night was so horrible with them.
i've decided not to give out halloween candy. though there are plenty of kids in the neighborhood. i'm going to turn out all the lights and hide on the third floor. with some diet cherry coke, if i can find any. haven't found any in any of the stores i've been to. it's been highly recommended.
tomorrow would be a good day to take out the a/c. in the sixties, sunny. but i haven't heard from my sister or my nephew. though i've sent them both a couple of emails. if they can't help, i'm thinking of just trying to get it out of the window and putting it on the floor just so that i can close that window and get rid of the draft.
anybody out there feel up to explaining how to post pictures?

Posted by Lisa :: 1:05 AM :: 1 comments

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

oh great. i just noticed that someone (read cat) was sleeping in my laundry basket of clean clothes and felt the urge and gave in to vomit. damn. i just love to have to wash otherwise clean clothes. it's time for me to do a wash anyway. in my dark, mysterious basement.
i really miss the mice. since the last one died last week. but i'm hesitant to get more. last time, i was assured that both the mice i was buying were female. after a litter of nine, i became skeptical.....
they're very relaxing to watch. even though they're scurrying around. and the cats like to watch them too.

Posted by Lisa :: 2:14 PM :: 1 comments

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i keep thinking it's Sunday.i don't know why. it's supposed to be a beautiful day tomorrow. highs in the sixties. and lots of sun. it's dreary today. cold and cloudy.
i think tonight might be green food night.
i need something explained to me. there's a chair outside a house, on the curb on the next street over. obviously they're hoping someone will take it. it was rained on all last week and i imagine it smells and is soggy, yet they still leave it out there. do they really think that someone is going to take it now? plus, it's a pretty ugly chair. why do people do that?
i forgot to take my meds last night and had horrible dreams. they kept waking me up. it was awful.
i'd love to take a nap right now but i have to go get my meds in an hour and i'm afraid i'll oversleep.
everytime the heat goes on i see dollar signs. i didn't mind so much last year because i had the money from the sale of the house. i bought a condo. but that money only lasted so long. and here i am poor again. stuff happens.

Posted by Lisa :: 1:23 PM :: 1 comments

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Friday, October 28, 2005

so i have this new diet recipe. eating jalapeno poppers almost everyday. i've lost twenty pounds in the last month and a half.
not that it shows, as i can see. but other people have commented on it.
so i just ordered some jalapenos. don't mess with what works. i only eat once a day, so the dinner has to be exciting. LOL.

Posted by Lisa :: 6:19 PM :: 1 comments

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it's taking a bit for me to used to being here, as opposed to the other site i used.
sean and i went for coffee today after she helped me take out my trash. (sean is my outreach worker. i'm bipolar and have PTSD and she helps me with things that are difficult for me. comes to my pdoc appts. and my drs. appt. with me because i have trouble speaking up.) well, we went to coffee and had a good time. i have this thing about taking out my trash, it makes me feel vulnerable. like everyone is watching me. when in reality i know that no one gives a shit. but she comes once a week to help me take it to the dumpster. we meet almost every weekday for coffee. to make sure that i get out of the house. if left to my own devices, i'd never leave the house. being with people makes me feel very tired.
tuesday, i had therapy, a drs. appt., met sean and went to get my afternoon meds (they don't trust me with many meds because i've been known to overdose) and i was exhausted on wednesday. slept most of the day. cancelled meeting with sean. didn't have to get my meds in the afternoon. my bed was my refuge.
when i told sean that i'd gone to doctor myself, she kept asking if i was serious. took some convincing to get her to believe me.
i'm still getting used to this site. so i know that i'm repeating some things that people already know.

Posted by Lisa :: 4:39 PM :: 2 comments

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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Which South Park kid are you most like?

Tweek

You are extremely hyper... mainly because of your high caffiene intake. You feel like you're under too much pressure.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Posted by Lisa :: 3:02 PM :: 0 comments

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so i went to the dr. the other day and when she got to the point where she asked if i had sex with one partner or multiple partners and i said no, she looked at me like i was nuts. and i wanted to say, "hon, if you were on all the meds i am, you wouldn't care about it either." actually it's nice to just look and appreciate the hotties.
usually they ask, "men, women or both?" and i want to say, "it's none of your business." but of course i don't. i answer dutifully.
and this was all just going in for my asthma. what the hell does my sex life have to do with my bronchial tubes???

Posted by Lisa :: 2:31 PM :: 3 comments

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Sunday, October 23, 2005

this is, obviously, my first post here. everyone from Blogster is jumping ship. not good. it used to be such a wonderful site filled with wonderful people. i don't know what happened but people are not being nice to each other. which is the opposite of what a blogsite should be. though i haven't personally been the recipient of any of it, it pisses me off that some of my friends have. and that really gets to me. people who have been so wonderful to me being attacked.
anyhoo.....i'm going to crawl into bed.
promise my next post will be more interesting... :)

Posted by Lisa :: 9:22 PM :: 2 comments

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